I'm the boss of you

Do I suck or what?

2010-04-27T19:45:00.020-04:00

My blog is my forgotten child, the dog no one wants. I should euthanize it and call it a day but I can't. Even though I suck at keeping this thing current I do like to go back to it from time to time and read my previous posts or look at the pictures. It makes me feel like time is moving like the speed of light when I look back at posts and even my daughter doesn't know who those twin babies are. It's pretty crazy. Anyway, here are some of my favorite pictures f rom the last 9 months or so!

Long time no post

2009-08-21T19:49:00.025-04:00

To my dear sister (who checks my blog regularly in hopes that I've updated) I am sorry that I suck. I know you understand that life is busy and finding the time to post is difficult. I can't even update my facebook status on a regular basis so plans of keeping this blog current are pointless.
This summer has been great. We have done so much stuff with the kids! We've been camping 4 times- here, here x 2 and here.

We took the kids to Storyland, to the beach, Rumble Tumble and Sprout About. We went to the Stratham Fair. We've gone to the playgrounds, we've gone for ice cream. We've played in the back yard.

We have done it all. We have probably set the standard pretty high as far as summers go and I may regret it later, but as a kid my mom always managed to have really fun summers for us and I want to give my kids the same.
Plus, we live in the tundra so when the sun is shining we need to get out and enjoy it!

2009-06-14T20:08:00.004-04:00

Another busy weekend over here. We attended 3 different parties this weekend and by we I mean me and my little miss. The boys stayed home with dad due to the fact that the first party was smack dab in the middle of nap time and the second party was at a place that would have required way too much effort on behalf of these tired parents to watch all 3. Maybe next year we'll take all 3, if the boys don't become socially retarded due to their limited exposure to other people. I feel kind of bad for the segregation but it's hard having twins and even harder bringing them outside the confines of our child proof home. If they clung to my side like xianfern's girls do, that would be a different story but they don't. They hit the ground running and always (always) in a different direction. So for now (and probably until they at least show some signs of name recognition) they are hanging at home. They had some fun this weekend, though, despite their house arrest. The rain didn't stop them from having fun.
My little miss had a lot of fun this weekend (until the 3rd party which was a baby shower- she was the only kid there and told me on multiple occasions that the shower was boring.) She might think twice next time I tell her I'm going to one of those... I had a lovely time, though and it was nice to get together with all the preggo women in my life!

Who's who?

2009-05-24T12:00:00.011-04:00

Xianfern thinks she's so smart because she can always tell my boys apart (I can NEVER tell who's who with her girls.) Here's a little test for her, although I've kept it pretty simple by only including pictures of the boys together. Good luck (though I don't think she'll need it. What I also did to keep it simple was give birth to a very non identical looking set of twins! :)

2009-05-23T19:36:00.011-04:00

Happy 4th Birthday

2009-02-22T09:05:00.011-05:00

My little miss is 4 years old today! When the hell did that happen? She's 4 years old and I'm 4 years older. I feel too old to have kids so little but they keep me young, if there's any logic in that.
She's 4 and like most 4 year olds, she's entertaining herself in the dining room with scotch tape- so far the best birthday present- her very own roll of scotch tape, actually 4 rolls for the 4 year old! Now she doesn't have to beg to use ours..

Even though this day is about her, I can't forget to mention her little brothers- they are 16 months old today. They are such good boys, but boy are they busy. I don't know if it's because there are 2 of them or if it's because they're boys, but they have energy that is endless. I wish they could give their poor mom some :). Any-hoo, here are my boys at 16 months...

Poor V-man- when he woke up this morning and decided to do some sort of acrobat in his crib that gave him this little shiner.

F-man likes to walk around with stuff in his mouth. I think that's the dog's influence.

2009-01-09T20:24:00.000-05:00

Renovations New Years style

2009-01-01T19:20:00.002-05:00

She would only help if she could pick out her own work clothes. I guess they don't call them sweat shops for nothing.

Holiday hangover

2008-12-28T10:40:00.005-05:00

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's feeling like they got hit by a mack truck filled with toys that require the jaws of life to open nor do I feel like I'm the only one who's glad it's over. For this year anyway. Next year I'm going to be more prepared. I'm going to start Christmas shopping in July. Or do it all on line, months in advance.

My little miss is getting so big and so smart. I don't think I'll use Santa as a bargaining chip anymore (you know the whole Santa is watching and only brings presents for good little girls) because I think it kind of back fired. After opening her Christmas stocking I told her that Santa must have thought she was a good little girl. She agreed and said "see mom, I was right, you were wrong." Ouch.

Here are some pics from Xmas 2008...

Happy Holidays

2008-12-14T07:06:00.009-05:00

My little miss is so excited for the holidays. It could have a lot to do with the fact that we're traveling down to Long Island to spend it with Grandma and Grandpa. It could also have something to do with the fact that she's wanted EVERY toy she's seen on tv in the last 4 months and to acknowledge her "need" I've told her to add it to her Christmas list. I hope she's not disappointed when she doesn't find the life size stuffed golden retriever under the tree.

Anyway, here's a couple of Christmas pics of my little ones. Like always, I was the only excited about taking their picture. They did great despite this...

Here, xianferns youngest (?) daughter wanted to be a part of our Christmas card. It was tough breaking it to her. She didn't take it very well.

She did eventually get over it... And we got these great pictures of the girl cousins to remember this holiday. Have I ever mentioned how excited I am that these girls are growing up together. I hope they always love eachother the way they do right now (with less hitting and yelling, though :)

My little tough guy

2008-11-03T18:51:00.004-05:00

I love this picture- can't you just hear him doing his best Robert Dinero impression...

Happy Halloween

2008-10-30T19:10:00.007-04:00

In true NH fashion, trick or treating was tonight and depending on which town you live in, it's also tomorrow night and probably one night this weekend. My little miss had a blast with her cousins. Tomorrow night we go with the people on our street. No one but the neighborhood kids go trick or treating on our road because it's dirt and pretty deserted. Very halloween like if you ask me, but not at all inviting to those who don't live here. Here are some pics of my Cinderella!

My little miss and blogless' youngest daughter- beautiful Cinderella prinesses!
Here are all the trick or treaters. Xian fern is quite the seamstress- she made a bat suit, a ghost costume and she hemmed little miss' Cinderella dress!
The 3 princesses!!

For those of you wondering...

2008-10-13T19:24:00.006-04:00

Home renovations suck. I wouldn't recommend it and I won't do it. ever. again. My husband has been doing most of the work but that leaves me to do the other stuff which is sometimes just as labor intensive. Here are a couple pictures of what my husband has been up to...

Those cabinets on the counter will eventually be hung on the walls. And the countertops will get a coat of tung oil and some sort of wax. And that wire hanging down will either be disconnected or used to hang laundry- we haven't decided which..

Mother's little helper

2008-10-11T14:51:00.003-04:00

No, I don't mean what the Rolling Stones sang about a hundred years ago, which I think was a pill, not to say that that wouldn't be helpful but that's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to my neighbor's kid who is at this very moment entertaining my 3 year old. outside. out of my hair. My little miss is enjoying bossing around this sweet 10 year old who takes it totally in stride. What's better is the babies are sleeping and my dear husband is building our kitchen. Fanf*ckingtastic!

Not so high chairs

2008-10-06T16:38:00.006-04:00

Well, today was a great day. The weather cooperated so we got outside for a bit and everyone was in really good moods- even me! We took a long walk down our dirt road and collected leaves. We're going to make a leaf chicken later (thank-you noggin). I cleaned up the house a bit. One project was to get these feeding chairs ready to bring to xianferns tomorrow. The boys have transitioned from their infant carriers to regular car seats. We gave my mil our infant carrier for the upcoming arrival of grandbaby #4, so xianfern gets these since she used the infant carriers to give them lunch, keep them contained, whatever. I didn't know I had 2 matching feeding chairs. My husband has been collecting them from the dump, I mean swap shop, for the last couple of years. It was quite a project and apparently mold stains don't come out, hence the word stain in the description (you'll see what I mean tomorrow xian). Anyway, nothing but the best hand me down, dump finds for my kids.

Here they are fresh from their afternoon nap enjoying some milk- which by the way is formula, but not for much longer- cow's milk here we come!! :)

Can you see their big sister in the background, on the couch? She's become rather fond of standing on her head.

I love my kids...

2008-10-05T20:31:00.008-04:00

More than anything. But what a looonnngggg weekend. I have tomorrow off (from work- the work I get paid for) and while I'm looking forward to it, I'm also wondering why I thought a 4 day weekend combined with a 5 hour road trip would be a good idea- or more like why I thought having Monday off would help me recuperate. Haven't I learned by now that if I want to rest and relax that I should go to work? Whatever. It will be a good day. I haven't seen the weather but I'm hoping to be able to take everyone outside so cabin fever won't get the best of us. Anyway, here are a couple pictures of my sweet, well rested children prior to taking them on a road trip to visit their grandparents. Followed by what happens when they don't sleep in their own beds for 2 nights and when the oldest goes to bed at 9:30 only to wake up before the dawn wanting to play with grandma...

2008-09-28T10:02:00.002-04:00

I was in a baby store this weekend picking up some baby supplies, when a store employee who happened to be african american was stocking the shelves next to little miss and I. Little Miss asked quite loudly why some people had dark skin. Uhh. I told her it was because they were born that way. I don't know if that's the "PC" thing to say but I wasn't going to ignore her question (I tried, she wouldn't let me), plus what else do I say? I don't really know why some people are black and some are white or some have skin tones in between. I don't know how it happens in the scientific sense- pigment or some shit. I have no clue. So, then the moment is over and we're in another aisle. There's another store employee stocking shelves but he's an old, balding white guy, so that question is over for the time being. Until I get- "mom, why do some people not have hair?" Ok, time to go, the babies can pee on the potty and eat pot roast like the rest of us!

11 months old!! ACK!

2008-09-23T06:41:00.006-04:00

Could someone slow down the clock like they do at work, right at the end of the day when you only have about an hour before you get to go home- please? My babies aren't going to be babies much longer!

Someone should tell him he might be happier if he didn't have a mouth full of dog hair.

Or a mouth full of dog dish!

Tough guy!

Counting down the minutes

2008-09-14T18:10:00.003-04:00

Anyone else counting down the minutes til bedtime (theirs, not yours, though my bedtime countdown is in a very close second and totally contingent upon theirs.) This question is rhetorical because most moms of more than one count the minutes on occasion until it's time to say good night and then sit and breath until that tense feeling is gone from your shoulders. I'm about to have that moment. 2 out of 3 are down for the night. It's only 6:00. We worked pretty hard to have this moment. The babies only had one nap today because their morning nap was kind of late and by the time they got up from it they were only 10 minutes away from when they would have had their afternoon nap, so we sucked it up and dealt with especially crabby babies until about 5 minutes ago. Unfortunately, the oldest is the toughest and though we worked hard to keep her awake all day, she'll undoubtedly catch a second wind from her pop tart dessert and be awake long after I'll have wanted to go to bed. Wish me luck!

2008-09-08T19:25:00.009-04:00

We went down to the in-laws this weekend to say to goodbye to my sister in law. My little miss has no idea how much she's going to miss her aunt. She's one of those aunts that you can't wait to tell a story about your day to or show them the report card with all C's because she'll always tell you how proud she is of you. My in-laws (all of them) are the best!

My mother and father in laws threw her a wonderful going away party, so great in fact, we're all secretly hoping that she'll reconsider moving west and let us throw her a welcome home party (though I doubt it- she's got her trip tix, so I think she's pretty sure about going.) Plus, her boyfriend of many years proposed the eve of her party! We got to be a part of the special event, which was so great- I've never been present at any marriage proposal but my own and man, those things are so sweet! Any-hoo, I got a couple pictures of the happy couple holding my little miss while they cut their going away cake! Good luck you guys and come back soon so we can throw you an engagement party, (that welcome home party), a wedding shower, a WEDDING, etc....

And here are 2 of my kiddos in the new wagon that their aunt and uncle got the boys as an early 1st birthday gift.

Here's my little miss painting (but like any girly girl princess, her nails ended up with the most paint on them!)

And my sweet little boys who made everyone at the party think that having twins is a breeze (which having these twins really is!!!)

2008-08-24T16:39:00.014-04:00

I haven't been to Storyland in a long time. I think the last I went was with a family I was babysitting for and I don't remember liking it very much. Well, since becoming a parent, I've done a lot of things I never thought I'd enjoy and to my surprise taking a 3 year old and 10 month old twins to Mother Goose kingdon was one of those things. Everyone did great and despite the fact that the boys both had head colds, we had a really good time and I'm kind of hoping that we've started an annual family vacation of sorts. At least until this theme park runs its course and the kids refuse to go to a place where Mother Goose is God. Anyway, here are some pics...

My not so little Miss and her dad on the Bambo Chute moments before getting soaked!

Little Miss listening to Humpty Dumpty (who's wearing too much eye make up for a family park if you ask me!)

In front of Cinderella's pumpkin carriage

This stroller was the only "ride" 10 month old babies were allowed on

The boys enjoying breakfast in our hotel room

Thank god for cable tv (but seriously could they get a tivo with a few episopdes of spongebob?)

2008-08-16T19:12:00.004-04:00

Poor little guy. He fought sleep til the bitter end. Looks like sleep won..

And could she be any cuter??

Yup...

2008-07-17T06:01:00.006-04:00

This post needs no title, though I seriously considering calling it "Crap!" because life with twins has been easy up til now.. :)

8 months old...

2008-06-22T13:03:00.004-04:00

This has been my second favorite milestone (first being the whole bottle holding thing)... They're still perfecting the art of sitting up and have many times flopped over to one side and bumped their heads, but they're exceptional young men and appear to be learning from their mistakes!

Edited to add: I forget to include my new #1 milestone- sleeping through the f*%$ing night! They have been going from 6:45pm to 4:30am, sip of milk and back to sleep til 6:00am! I basically refused to get up with them during the night. I'm sleeping in their sister's extra bed and their father is on the couch. I don't know when we'll return to our bedroom, but who cares, they are sleeping through the night (more importantly- I am sleeping through the night!!)

7 months old

2008-05-24T09:00:00.004-04:00

I can't believe my boys are 7 months old! I say this every month, but it's true. It is going by so fast. In a way I wanted their infancy to go by quickly so we'd get a decent nights sleep or something, but now that we're on the other (easier) side of raising twins, I would like time to slow down a little. It has become a lot of fun caring for these 2 babies. They are so good natured and easy to care for. I only wish I could be with them all the time. This having to work thing is for the birds. Oh well.

Here are my 7 month old boys!

Good reading

2008-05-18T18:32:00.004-04:00

I've read books that put me to sleep, too. He should have known by the cover that this one was a snoozer!

Mother's Day fashion show

2008-05-11T12:06:00.007-04:00

My little miss got a TON of new clothes from blogless yesterday at the party for xianferns boys! She LOVED the swimsuits. This morning she insisted on trying on each of them. Here's my little miss doing the catwalk!

(by the end, she wasn't really into the fashion show anymore. I think she pooped on the potty after striking this pose!)

Sunday bliss

2008-05-04T17:01:00.004-04:00

Everyone's well rested (it's why we look so fantastic!)

First professional pictures

2008-05-03T08:42:00.003-04:00

With my little Miss I suffered such guilt that I didn't have her first professional pictures done until she was 11 weeks old. Here are my boys practically ready to go off to college....

2008-04-30T22:21:00.006-04:00

Because there's 2 of them we have smartened up about bedtime routines. When it's time for bed, they are laid down in their cribs. We say good night and walk away. Sometimes they cry for a few minutes, sometimes they don't make a peep, but generally all is well by the time I'm crawlimg into bed with their big sister and watching Cinderella for the millionth time while I wait for her to fall asleep.

Yes, we have FINALLY smartened up.

Slapped cheek virus

2008-04-22T21:00:00.004-04:00

This is what my little Miss has, according to one of the dr's at her pediatrician's office. Her face is bright red- more like a sun burn than a cheek slap, but none the less, she's got this rash and could have it up to 2 weeks. I couldn't get a picture of her rosy cheeks today since the new memory card I got for my camera doesn't work (not a problem, really, I find it pretty easy getting to the store with 3 kids and a full time job), but here's a picture of her taken yesterday after getting cheek slapped (just kidding)...

6 months old today!

2008-04-22T20:44:00.005-04:00

My boys are 6 months old today. I can hardly believe it. I remember this time last year it was just confirmed that I was having twins. I remember saying "this time next year" I'll have TWO six month old babies. Happy 1/2 1st birthday boys!!

Freedom!

2008-04-20T07:58:00.003-04:00

Here are my boys! I'm so proud! And relieved! I will finally have some hands free time!

Stairway to heaven!

2008-04-19T09:20:00.003-04:00

Finally, access to our basement. I will no longer be hauling my dirty laundry down the icy, hill in our side yard to get to the basement. My neighbors must think I'm heading down to the river to wash my clothes.

Oh and the builder is not done- he's going to finish it with real wood (oak, I believe) and a real banister and real balusters! Can you feel me trembling??

Edward Scissorhands

2008-04-13T15:59:00.005-04:00

My poor little baby. He can't seem to stop clawing up his face. I know, I know, I should put some mittens on that kid, but they get so nasty, especially now that he's got his hands in his mouth all the time. I just keep thinking he'll figure out that scratching his face like that hurts and he'll eventually stop. And I keep trimming his nails. I should really just take xianfern's advice and stop dragging him facedown across our gravel driveway..

Spring Clean up

2008-04-13T15:50:00.004-04:00

The snow has finally melted and cabin fever is about to break! I can not wait for the warm weather so all the kids can get outside. There's something about being outside that makes life more tolerable. I honestly don't know why I live in the northeast... probably because I'm afraid to live anywhere else...

Addendum to previous post

2008-04-03T19:25:00.004-04:00

I have to say I felt like a heel for most of the day for posting so negatively about my little miss last night. Really, I should have been sleeping instead of complaining about how difficult it can be to raise a toddler. I am afterall very sleep deprived (one day I'll bitch about her brothers and how they keep me up at night.) But I feel like writing a retraction of sorts- to clear my guilty conscience, I guess. Not that it matters to anyone but me, but I feel it's necessary to say that she's the reason why we felt compelled to procreate again. She's why I can't wait to get home at the end of the day. There's no way to describe how it feels when you walk through the front door and are greeted by a screeching 3 year old who seems like she's been waiting all day for this exact moment. It's love, pure and unconditional.
It's still hard being a parent to a toddler, but I wouldn't change my life or the little people in it for anything else in the world. I would like to get a decent nights sleep, but I'm pretty sure there's no one I can bargain with to make that happen.
There I feel better.

The terrible 2's- what they don't tell you...

2008-04-02T22:57:00.004-04:00

For me, the ages between 18 months and 2 were about keeping my daughter safe from herself. She had this new found independence and skills. She could walk, her language was emerging, she was becoming a unique individual. But what she didn't have was common sense. She didn't know that she couldn't walk off the couch and not get hurt or jump up and down in the bath tub and not suffer any consequences. That's what I was there for- to watch her every move and make sure she didn't end up in the emergency room for stitches.

As she's grown, the need for me to watch her every move is no longer necessary. She's got a certain amount of "street smarts." She's comprehending actions and consequences. She's building a catalog of common sense. This is a relief. It's exhausting to watch someone every moment of their life to make sure they're safe. I can let her play alone in her bedroom while I'm downstairs without worrying that she's going to chug toilet bowl cleaner or fall down the stairs. That's not to say I don't leave myself open to other mishaps, just look at the picture to the right- I wasn't sitting next to her saying, sure, give yourself a unibrow with that pink lipstick- but these are the chances I'm willing to take to have 10 minutes without the burden of being responsible for someone.

What I have found is that the terrible 2's have nothing on 3. If 2 is about keeping them safe from themselves, then 3 is about keeping them safe from me. Because while she's learning how to remain safe in her world, she's also learning how to drive me nuts in mine. I don't know what 4 will bring, perhaps she won't want to push me to the edge of madness everyday just for fun, but I figure there have got to be some good years in between her becoming a teenager and now. That could start at 4... sure, why not.

Roll over little man, roll over (and crush that horrible purple dinosaur!)

2008-04-01T16:40:00.002-04:00

The littlest of my twins rolled over today (he's the littlest but the oldest- by 2 minutes- which will someday, undoubtedly get him the front seat.) I wasn't there to see it :( as I'm paying other people to raise my children, but the caregivers are kind enough to share their milestones with me (I'm very lucky and grateful to my caregivers and in no way mean to sound like I'm not)...

You can see his big little brother watching in the background- probably thinking, damn it, that should've been me!

When daddy is left to dress the little ones

2008-03-20T19:23:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure daddy would never leave the house looking this mismatched, but when left to make baby fashion decisions on his own, I'm afraid my babies would end up on that Blackwell guys worst dressed list....

eta- they could be dressed in potato sacks and they'd still be so friggin cute!

Hello 21st Century

2008-03-08T18:50:00.004-05:00

This, the microwave and our pay as you go, crappy signal cell phones officially make us 21st Centurians (if that's a word)....Seriously, telling people you don't have a computer in 2008 is like saying you don't have indoor plumbing.

Happy Anniversary!

2008-03-07T07:46:00.005-05:00

It's been one year since my last post. I thought it would be fitting to post a quick update to let the one, maybe 2 people who check out my lame ass blog know what I've been up to....

Oh, and I have a pc at home!

See you 2 next year! :)

Flog the bad blogger!

2007-03-07T15:17:00.000-05:00

I suck at this blogging thing.... If I had a pc at home I might not suck so bad, but I do, so whatever... here's my little miss at her 2nd birthday party. Time flies...

First school pics!

2006-10-24T11:10:00.000-04:00

My little girls first official "school" pictures. Really, it's daycare and I worry that calling it "school" so early will give her justification someday when she screams she's been going to school her whole life!

Getting ready for winter!

2006-10-02T16:12:00.000-04:00

I hate that winter is just around the corner and it was made even more clear to me this weekend when we began our rituals of getting the house ready for winter. It's pretty simple. It's basically removing the air conditioners. We purchased 2 new air conditioners this summer. They kick ass. We cooled our house to morgue-like temperatures. It was so refreshing. Usually we're stuck with fans on high uselessly pushing around hot air. This year was glorious!
The biggest AC unit that we bought was put in our living room window designed to cool the entire 1st floor (which is really our second floor since we have a walkout basement).. So, yesterday we decided it was time to take them out of the windows and seal up the house. We won't be turning on the heat in our house until probably December (if my husband has his way) so getting the AC's out of the window will somehow keep the heat our bodies are creating inside the house.
The first AC we decide to remove, is of course, the biggest, heaviest. I've been dreading the heavy lifting this was going to require. My husband, who is leading the project, tells me to come over open the window. He's got all 10 fingers resting firmly on the AC unit just below where the window comes down to hold it in place. There are no additional braces or supports. The window is the only thing holding this UNIT in place. So with all of his fingers and weight holding onto this one small space at the top of the AC, I'm directed to open the window. I do. And watch. In horror. As the MOST expensive cooling device we have, PLUMMETS to the ground 12 feet below. Then I listen. to the sound. of metal bending and breaking and my husband screaming profanity that I'm sure I'll hear my young daughter repeat in the most inappropriate of places. He immediately goes outside to finish the task of bringing it into the basement. He plugged it in and it turned on, so it might be saved. I hope so. And though I will only admit this to my sister, a part of me was happy that I didn't have to carry it to the basement. The outcome for me really couldn't have been any better! Is that so wrong??

Smile!

2006-09-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

We are identical!

2006-09-06T12:14:00.001-04:00

The other day I was at my sister's house when my husband called asking me to either pick up a few groceries or takeout on my way home. As I was leaving my sister's I called my husband on my cell to discuss our dinner options. I got the machine and proceeded to leave a rather whiny message 'it's me, are you there... I'm leaving my sister's, pick up the phone if you're there, hello, are you there, pleeeeeasssse pick up the phone, helllllllooooo?" He didn't answer, turns out he'd fallen asleep on the couch. Later that night as I'm putting my little miss to bed, I hear my answering machine and what I thought was my identical twin sister leaving me a message saying, are you there, pick up if you're there, hello... her voice sounded very panicked and I rushed down stairs with half asleep baby in tow to see my husband standing over the machine, just looking at it. We always screen our calls. "Pick it up" I yell, gees, can't he hear the desparation in her voice, there must be something terribly wrong. He turns and looks at me and says in the same tone I'd presented him with- "it's you, stupid." He was only now listening to the message I'd left earlier in the day. But it sounded so much like her... And we needed a DNA test to prove our zygosity!!

Daycare drama....

2006-06-26T12:55:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day that I had to drop my daughter off at her new daycare. She started last Wednesday and my husband had been bringing her because of my early work schedule, but today was the first day that I was able to experience the horror and look of utter confusion as the daycare worker literally peeled her body from mine when it was time for me to leave. It was awful. As I fled the room like a coward, I turned back to see her face red and wet with tears and her mouth wide open but silent as she was gathering up air to make the next cry as loud as she could, a cry that would surely get her mother to think twice about leaving her with these strangers. I was out of the building before I could hear that cry. But not to worry, I have evey day this week and the next (and the next) to hear it. My husband gets the pleasure of picking her up, when she's happy to be leaving, no tears. I'm the one who abandons her every morning. If only I could make her understand that mommy needs to go to work so I can afford to pay for this expensive daycare... I'm being dramatic, I know, and I'm sure things will get better, it's just the shittiest feeling to be walking AWAY from your child when she's that upset. It just ain't right!!

Sleeping on air

2006-04-28T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm tired and even more tired of hearing my husband complain about how tired he is. My little miss still doesn't sleep through the night. It's a pattern I'm nurturing quite nicely. She goes to sleep initially pretty well, but usually wakes up around midnight and since I've never allowed her to learn how to fall asleep on her own, she cries and I bring her into bed with us. That's not enough, though and I figure after all those hours of sleep, she must be hungry, so I've got a bottle waiting bedside for her. While she's sucking that down we both fall back to sleep. All the while her father is snoring comfortably on the other side of the bed. Some nights I'll put her back in her crib just long enough for me to almost fall back to sleep and the process begins again- she cries, I bring her into bed, she drinks more milk. I usually end up having to get up during the night to fill another bottle because she'll be hungry again when she wakes after this next stretch of sleep.
I can't bring myself to let her cry it out, especially when I'm only 3 feet away from her- how cruel would that be? The pediatrician backed me up on this one- it's really not an effective method of training if you're in view of your screaming baby. Plus, I still stand by the whole, if they're crying they must need something and usually it's just me she needs- why would I want to deprive her of that? Maybe because she's depriving me of sleep. I don't know. Being a working mom sucks and totally plays me into a guilt ridden corner. She is so going to get anything and everything she wants based on the fact that I love her and feel like I'm failing her because I'm paying someone else to raise her.
So, while I'm awake, feeling all guilty, laying uncomfortably on one side so the baby has plenty of room to kick me in the back, face, torso or wherever her tiny little feet land, my husband is sleeping. I know he's not sleeping as soundly as he would if we didn't have a 14 month old in bed with us, but he's rolled away from the whole situation- he's got his back to his daughter while I've taken on the burden of making sure she doesn't roll off the bed. Granted, it's a burden I've taken on myself, but a burden none the less.
Added to this burden is the complaints about how tired my husband is every morning. "I slept like crap again last night" (can you believe it?) So, in an effort to temporarily ease all of our sleeping issues (and to shut my husband up) my daughter and I have spent the last 2 nights sleeping in the living room on an aero bed. To my husband's defense, it was my idea and I'm really enjoying it. I've got so much more room. I push the bed up against the wall so I don't have to worry about little miss falling off the bed and she's got tons of room to kick all she wants. I know it's not a permanent solution and Ferber himself would bust a nut, but sleep deprivation equals desperation and folks, these are desperate times!

I hope no one's looking!

2006-04-28T12:29:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure how I agreed to this, but it's happening, in less than 24 hours and there's nothing I can do now to stop it, lest I want to deprive my kid from a 1/2 hour of fun with her mom- that is if her mom can get over the fact that no one really gives a shit about how nasty she thinks she looks in a swim suit.
My husband has been taking little miss to swimming lessons for the last several Saturdays. Well, this Saturday he can't and I've been delegated to the duty/humiliation and since these lessons are paid for in full, not pay as you go, I'm destined to go, regardless of how much I think my pride and/or dignity may or may not be worth (certainly more than the cost of this swim lesson).
So, I'm going to suck it up (and suck it in) and take my little girl swimming. I know she'll love that I'm actually in the pool with her rather than on the sidelines hiding from her view. I just wish I hadn't eaten that extra helping of take out last night or that I'd passed on birthday cake at work last week and maybe taken the stairs instead of the elevator, etc, etc...

Blech

2006-04-03T09:50:00.000-04:00

Poor little miss. This morning when I was dropping her off at xianferns, she started to cough. As she continued to cough, she came over to me with her arms outstretched to pick her up. Just as I reach down to pick her up, she spits up a little (right onto my sister's carpet), I pick her up and she continues to hurl- huge coagulated chunks of whole milk. It kept coming and coming. I had my hand cupped under her mouth in an attempt to catch it and save my sister's carpet and ran for the kitchen. She finally stops and when all is said and done, we're both covered in puke. I'm 10 minutes from punching into work and I've got chunks clinging to my pants. As soon as she stops puking, she's back to her bubbly, cheerful self. My sister gets her a cracker and she goes about her day with her cousins... Unlike my little miss, I did not have an extra set of clothes in my diaper bag so I had to get some from my sister. She was nice enough to give me some hand me downs she'd just gotten from a good friend of ours, so I'm at work now, not wearing my own clothes and though I've washed my hands 5 times, I can still smell puke..

Happy Birthday Little Miss!!

2006-02-17T14:07:00.000-05:00

It was a year ago that my daughter was born. A year ago they cut her from my belly and I saw her for the first time. She was red and swollen and beautiful. She had the cutest button nose I'd ever seen and she looked like me.
After I was wheeled back to my hospital room on the night of her birth, I spent the next several hours staring at her. Memorizing every detail of her face and body. I had been imaging her since the moment I found out I was pregnant. I worried that she wouldn't be cute, but raising 2 kids would always tell me that if she wasn't, I'd never know because of the love I'd feel for her. Once she arrived and I understood just what that meant, I felt guilty for ever caring about what she looked like because that is not where my love for her originates. It is something so much deeper and thankfully more profound than that. It's the most terrifying and the most beautiful feeling I've ever experienced.
I'm sad that this year has gone by so quickly, but I am so excited at what this next year will bring. This first year has been full of so much change. She's gone from an infant completely dependent on me to a toddler wanting her independence from me. She walks in front of me like I'm chasing her, even when I'm only trying to keep up. She swings her arm across her high chair tray when she's done eating, sending everything to the floor and her new best dog friends...She's so excited about everything, which in turns thrills me to no end. This next year will only be better and more exciting. I can't wait!
Happy Birthday Little Miss!! I love being your mom and love that you're my daughter even more!

Welcome to the 20th century!

2006-02-01T08:23:00.000-05:00

We are slowly advancing into the age of technology. A co-worker gave me a microwave a few weeks ago and I've used it every day since! I told xianfern how I felt like I was finally coming into the 21st century (with the addition of our tivo). She was quick to remind me that I was really only entering the 20th century since microwaves have been around since the 80's. So, unless there's another co-worker who's going to give me a computer or a cell phone, looks like I'll be stuck in 1982 until I can afford it otherwise...

When is a cracker ever a chip?

2006-01-03T13:17:00.000-05:00

My daughter loves crackers.... She'll only eat ritz wholewheat crackers lately, which if anyone remembers, probably isn't the best thing for her digestive tract. I think her love for these crackers has something to do with the fact that she can feed them to herself, although I've given her several different varieties of foods cut up on her high chair tray for her to self feed. She's stuck on these ritz crackers, though.
The other night my husband made a yummy roasted chicken with veggies and stuffing, all of which I offered to my picky eater. She wanted nothing to do with any of it. So rather than see her go hungry, which means she'll be awake at 1:00 am wanting a bottle, I go for the crackers. I've been dressing up the crackers with cream cheese or soy cheese to try and add some sort of nutritional value to these plain crackers. I know that it sometimes takes several attempts at introducing a food before she'll take to it, so I'm willing to be patient and give her crackers in the meantime.
My husband sees her snubbing his wonderful cooking again and also sees me getting out the crackers, to which he says "Crackers, again? Gees, you might as well be giving her chips" Um, no, I might be giving her CRACKERS, distinctly different than chips. I know he means that I'm just giving her snack food, but I'm not giving her chips, or french fries or even saltines. I'm giving her whole grain motherfucking crackers! And sometimes with soy cheese...

2006-01-02T15:34:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to love this time of year, although it's cold and I hate winter, I feel myself coming into the January slump. The holidays are over (thankfully) and there's little to do but cozy up inside the house and relax. My husband got me TIVO for Christmas, which I am now referring to as TI-HO, because that is what I am slowly becoming- a ho for tv and rather than make myself feel bad for being a tv slug, I'm embracing it. It's the only bit of technology I have in my house. There's no computer, no video games, not even a microwave. TIVO is the only indication you'll find in my house to prove that we have indeed entered the the 21st century.
The only thing that I find a bit annoying about TIVO is how it judges me. When you program TIVO to record your favorite programs, TIVO takes it one step further and records programs that it thinks you might like based on your previous selections. Great feature, except that I've given TIVO the impression that I'm 12 and into really BAD tv. It has recorded shows like Family Matters and Full House. Ok, so we may have selected an episode or 2 of Wings and Reba on the WB is kind of funny, but Full House? We adamantly rejected these suggestions by giving as many "thumb downs" as TIVO would allow when asked to review their picks. This will prevent TIVO from making these selections in the future. So, for now I'm safe from the Olson twins, but Blossom is still out there, along with Alf and the kids from 7th Heaven.... Maybe we should have invested in satelite radio instead... I miss Howard already.

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-05T14:23:00.000-05:00

Score!

2005-11-29T14:05:00.000-05:00

At the start of every week, I try to deny myself visits to the vending machines at work. If I'm not successful on Monday, the rest of the week is shot (I'm not about to do this half-assed- every day of the week or none at all.)
So, this morning, being Tuesday (Monday was a bust) I stop at the machine on my way to my office. I pop my 50 cents into the machine and make my selection (peanut m&m's). I grab my fix and turn to leave when I hear the machine behind me making a familiar cha-ching sound- as if it was making change for me (change that was not due as I'd given EXACT change)
I inspect the change slot and there's 4 quarters. I've not only gotten my m&m's for free, but now I've even made a little money. I decide to try my luck again and put in 2 more quarters. This time I purchase Reeses pieces and I wait for the machine to yield my prize. But no luck, the machine spits out my candy and nothing more. Oh well, it was a fun stretch. And for all you kind spirited, honest people out there- don't worry, karma will find me and kick my ass- or at least add a dimple or two...

For Teri and Tessa

2005-11-29T07:36:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again....

2005-11-28T09:46:00.000-05:00

When I follow my husband into store after store Christmas shopping. I hate Christmas shopping. My husband is always trying to find just the right gift for our loved ones. I'm trying to get in and out of the store and get home. I wish there was such a thing as a "get out of Christmas free" card. Since there isn't, I'm stuck in line behind my husband at the department store.
It was in this line that my memory, which usually sucks, decides to shine and throw out a nugget of recollection. We had finally decided on a gift for my brother in law and his fiance. After what seemed like hours of shopping, we had decided that a gift of Ralph Lauren towels (on sale, of course) would be an appropriate gift for the young couple. I was thrilled to be standing in line, imaging what the rest of my day might be like now that this shopping excursion was almost over. But that's when my memory, which I thought for sure I'd destroyed years ago, starts to tug at my conscience. I start having memories of another holiday, maybe a birthday, that we'd given this same brother in law the same gift. Motherfucking towels! Ugh! I'm in line, almost at the check out, almost free, but we're about to give him the same lame ass gift again.
Damn my memory, but if you think I was giving up this tid bit of info, think again! I had worked too hard to get to that check out line to just give up. I feel guilty over this omission, but at the moment, I had no other choice but to tuck that turd back into my memory bank, hopefully to never resurface again. So, we're giving the gifts of towels (again) but really... can you ever have too many towels??

My poor poopy pants

2005-11-18T08:27:00.000-05:00

My poor little girl has been having adult sized shits and she's not too happy about it. It started about a month ago when we were all cuddling on the couch and she let out a scream as if she'd just been stabbed, turns out she was trying to pass a GIGANTIC turd. I figured she'd been eating too many veggie puffs or too much rice cereal, so I cut back on starchy foods and added some more fruits (prunes, mostly) and some juice (again with the prunes.)
So, her shits return to normal for a few weeks, but we had a bit of a set back this week. Twice already myself and raising 2 kids has had to "assist" in her bowel movements. I never thought I'd be holding onto to a piece of poop, guiding it from someone's bum. I suspect there are going to be lots of things that I never thought I'd be doing throughout the course of my daughter's life. That's the love of a mother, I guess.
I called her pediatrician who recommended a sitz bath, they said it would relax her muscles and let her go more easily. I don't think she'd have a problem relaxing her muscles if she wasn't trying to push out the titanic, but I'll try it. I'll also continue to give her lots of fruits and veggies and other things that might make her poop...
My poor little girl. To see the look of fear and confusion on her young face as she bears down just breaks my heart. She's got to be thinking WTF?? I know I am.

2005-11-09T12:55:00.000-05:00

There's a moment in the middle of the night when I can hear the rustling in the crib next to me. I freeze and wait for the moment to pass or force me out of bed. I freeze because I think if she doesn't hear me move, she won't know I'm there and maybe she'll return to a peaceful slumber. That almost never works because she knows where ever I am her cry will summon my appearance. When she truly needs me (or simply wants me) I am there for her and I love those moments. It's those twilight times that I especially enjoy, even though I'm exhausted, it's when she's the most still and therefore the most cuddly. She's not squirming to get down and practice her new mobility skills or wanting to explore her environment. She's sleepy and wanting the comfort of my squishy lap to help get her back to sleep.
That's not to say that I don't love her waking moments- I do, they're just different. When she's awake and discovering something new (which is all the time) I love the amazed look on her face.
I love to see her crawling about and stop at a spot on the rug and touch it with her finger. It's usually not anything but a slight variation in the carpet itself, but she noticed the difference and has stopped to investigate.
She is becoming such an individual with very defined likes and dislikes. To think that just a year ago, I was only 6 months pregnant, barely showing and now I have this little person who only wants to eat these wagon wheel things that Gerber makes. It amazes me everyday.
She loves peek-a-boo also. She likes to take a blanket and pull it up over her face. I ask "where's A?" and she drops the blanket and I act all surprised- she gets the biggest kick out of that... I love it.... in the words of Bob- any better, I couldn't stand it... :)

Spelling Bee Chump

2005-11-08T17:13:00.000-05:00

Another new girl at work. She's very nice, like the mean talker, but much better on the phone. Her particular area of weakness is spelling. Here are some examples: (see if you can decifer what she's trying to spell- she's fa-net-ick-ly correct, but oh so wrong!)
skruws
rumitoid
thurst
dabites (diabetes)
mentalpause (menopause)
There are more, but I can't think of any right now..... must be a mentalpause moment!

2005-11-07T16:05:00.000-05:00

I was cut off by a pedestrian this weekend which nearly caused the person behind me to crash into my backseat. I was driving through lovely downtown Dover when this man walking on the sidewalk crossed the street in front of me. He used the crosswalk like a good pedestrian, but didn't even look to see if anyone was coming. I think that's a rule for successfully crossing the streets- looking both ways.
He did it so seamlessly, too, without missing a step- from the curb to the crosswalk. I had to slam on the brakes so I wouldn't hit the stupid fucker causing the car behind me to also slam on their brakes. This caused their tires to squeal at which point the pedestrian looked up and gave me a nasty look because I had apparently interrupted his day dream. Argh!

Trick or Treat

2005-10-27T16:56:00.000-04:00

Some states are trying to keep our kids safer on halloween (and what's not safe about sending your child to the door of a complete stranger begging for food). They're having all registered sex offenders report to a common location (town hall or police station) on the night of trick or treating, where they'll remain until all children are safely off the streets- approximately from 6-10:00.
I respect and commend the efforts of law enforcement to try and protect our children, but wonder just how effective their method is. According to the report I heard on the news there are no statistics that say more children are accosted by these predators on Halloween.
So why halloween? Aside from the obvious, I would think that Halloween would be the last choice for a sex offender to strike. Most kids travel in herds on halloween. I've opened my front door on many a Halloween to a small country of children chanting trick or treat with arms outstretched.
It just seems to me like kind of a lame attempt to remedy a serious problem. If these people can't be trusted around kids on Halloween, then what's to stop them from harming children on say... Flag day or Columbus day or any day for that matter?? Sounds like we need to start locking these pervs up on every holiday (or every day)... if that's the only way to keep our kids safe...

One-Armed Robbery

2005-10-21T12:34:00.000-04:00

The producers of Extreme Makeover Home Edition are probably firing someone today. They were recently in Wells Maine giving a deserving family a new $500,000 log home (replacing the trailer they were once living in). The show is all about the water works. They pick a family who's overcome some sort of adversity in their lives or is some sort of pillar in their community and they build them a gigantic home. Their circumstances make the viewers cry and feel sorry for them and their situation. I always do, anyway.
The father in this family was a lobsterman who amputated his own arm when it became stuck in the winch on his boat several years ago. Ok, those are hard times. What the show doesn't mention are the hard times that this man "brought on himself," according to his ex-wife. She's talking about the jail time this man served for armed robbery and 2 drunk driving convictions.
How is that worthy of a home make over?? Where's my friggin home makeover?? I've never held a gun to a burger king employee and forced them into a freezer so I could rob them. I've never gotten behind the wheel after having too much to drink.
I know that people can make mistakes and that they can also pay for them, but I just think there are people more deserving out there... Like me. I'm very deserving and obviously quite jealous that they were just 30 minutes away from the nightmare I call home and they didn't even stop in to say hi! Hmpf. I guess the next time I find myself between a rock and a hard place, I'd better have my swiss army knife with me.... oh so bitter....

2005-10-21T12:21:00.000-04:00

Why can't people have their shit together when they pull up to an ATM machine? You know you're going there- why can't you have your card ready instead of searching through all of your belongings at the last second. It drives me f-in crazy. I get 30 minutes on my lunch break. 30. To have to waste even 2 minutes of it makes me so mad that I want to ram my car into the car in front of me and push them right out of the ATM line.
Get yourself orgainized and then you can get back in line!

I've got nothing to say, I just love this picture of Oprah (the antichrist)

2005-10-20T11:57:00.000-04:00

2005-10-17T09:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday raising 2 kids and ezili did a breast cancer walk with a ton of other people. It was windy and cold, but well worth the cause.
At one point during the walk a large group of people had taken a wrong turn. I commented on their direction to raising 2 kids, wondering why they were on the other side of the street. A voice behind me piped up saying "it's because they're going the wrong way" And with that something awakened in this stranger and his pace quickened as he sped past us, trying to reach this large group of misdirected charity walkers. He began to scream to the crowd, telling them they were going the wrong way. They were a bit ahead of us and only a few people turned when they heard this man shouting his pleas for them to go right instead of left. A few of them started to cross back over to the correct side of the street, but then went back with their walkers, probably in an effort to avoid this man who had become incensed with all these walkers who wouldn't heed his calls to correct their direction "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!! YOU NEED TO GO RIGHT, NOT LEFT" You'll fall off the planet if you go that way, my god man, you'll never find your way back! It was pretty crazy and left me wondering, who yells at a crowd of charity walkers? And who, who will not wear the ribbon?

2005-10-10T09:16:00.000-04:00

I babysat my two nephews over the weekend. Raising 2 kids was off getting speeding tickets with her husband so I agreed to stay behind and watch the chillen'. It was fun. I hadn't babysat the boys in a long time and when I heard raising 2 kids other option for childcare, I insisted on going over. I of course had my little miss with me, so I had my hands full, or I had what raising 2 kids has every day of her life. I must say I don't know how she does it!

Managing the needs of 3 children is an art. Between diaper changes and refilling glasses (or bottles) of water or milk, doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else. Her oldest wanted to put together a puzzle of the United States. He was so proud to show me the state where they make movies and the state where Disneyland is. He also wanted to take a bath in the sink like his little miss cousin did, but we never got to that and thankfully he was ok with it. I was afraid he'd remember when it came time for bed and then have a melt down, but he didn't and I was happy.

Her youngest has energy I've never seen in anyone or anything. It's limitless and quite exhausting, but he's definitely not beyond reason. A couple of times I had to bring out the authoritative, don't mess with me voice, to which the oldest begged me not to tell his mother. I promised I wouldn't though I don't know what he thought I was going to tell her or what would happen to him if I did.

When it was time for bed (around 9:30- an hour later than what I'm used to) we all headed upstairs to their bedroom. My oldest nephew insisted on sleeping on the floor because he was afraid of dragonflies in the next room or something (he's got a fear of bugs.) I didn't argue as I saw there was already a sleeping bag set up on the floor at the end of his bed- clearly an issue already in progress. So, he sets himself up on the floor while the youngest crawls into his bed. I put my little miss on the bed that's been vacated by her older cousin and I sit on the floor between the 2 twin beds. I've got one arm holding my daughter on the bed to my right and I'm holding the youngest nephew's hand with my left. The oldest is the first one to sleep. Then my little miss. Then my youngest nephew slowly drifts off to dreamland. I've done it! I've put 3 small children to bed- they've all survived and they're all peacefully sleeping. I did forget to have them brush their teeth (sorry) but really, the fact that they're in bed and alive is enough to make me feel satisfied with the babysitting job I'd done. I don't know if this how raising 2 kids feels at the end of the day. I think I'd feel more like I had survived them and was happy to be alive and I'd most likely have a serious drinking problem.

Guess What

2005-10-05T14:16:00.000-04:00

I've got the internet back (briefly) and I don't have much to talk about. My mom's still an anorexic in hiding. She told me last week, while hanging out at Raising 2 kids house, that my daughter's legs were slimming down. She's 7 months old and weighs under 16 lbs, what is she slimming down to? Is it more attractive if an infant looks malnourished? I just don't get it.
Gwentyh Paltrow is reportedly having another baby- wonder if she'll have another fruit or perhaps a vegetable this time? Maybe a Squash or an Asparagus...
The mean talker always gets the nastiest people on the phone. She doesn't know what's up with that. Hmmm...
I'm entered to win a safari to Africa ( I was caller # 7 with the correct answer to their trivia question- thanks Ask Jeeves). I wonder if my boss would give me the time off and if raising 2 kids would watch my kid. How many shots in my ass would I need for a trip like that? Yikes.
I have to go to somewhere in MA for 3 days next week for system administration training (the top of the bottom of the barrel) I don't want to go, but I can't get out of it.
What's up with the Avian bird flu? Does anyone else want to kill chickens just because??

It's only rock n' roll (but I like it)

2005-09-23T14:29:00.000-04:00

I like the new Rolling Stones song and something about that makes me feel old. I don't know if it's because they're a band from the 60's that I used to listen to when I was a little kid or if it's because they themselves are in their 60's. I also feel like it's not keeping me current, like listening to a band whose time has come and gone dates you or keeps you from moving forward. I used to always think my parents were stuck in a time warp with all their hippy music and Me and Bobby Mcgee crap. Am I becoming my parents? Is that what makes me feel old? Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about it. Maybe when my daughter is my age she'll love listening to new songs by REM or The Cure... hey, it could happen!

Who's the friggin cheapskate?

2005-09-21T10:35:00.000-04:00

Just an addendum to something that raising 2 kids wrote about recently regarding the cheapskate housekeeper at work. She's not only cheap, but she's a stingy, sly business woman as well. The mean talker told me this morning how the housekeeper offered her some spring rolls one afternoon while making her rounds, something she has done a few times for our office. They're yummy and we all enjoy them. So, the mean talker patiently waits for the housekeeper to come back in with the spring rolls. She never returns, so she figures the housekeeper has forgotten. A few days pass and the housekeeper comes in with 2 containers of spring rolls- about 30 of them. She tells the mean talker that she has her spring rolls and owes her 50 bucks!! The mean talker had no idea that they made this kind of transaction. If you remember, sometimes things get lost in translation with the cheapskate, so apparently, she'd made a deal to buy 30 spring rolls for 50 bucks.... or did she??
So, raising 2 kids, don't you dare give her that handbag she's asked you to make or if you do, when you give it to her, tell her it's a hundred bucks... that was the deal, doesn't she remember?

2005-09-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

Why do my dogs want to poop the second we get into a public place? It never fails. The moment we get out of the car invariably they decide it's time to crap. I'm not always the conscientious dog owner I wish I was, though. Sometimes I forget to bring a little plastic baggy to scoop up their poop. This is a major faux paus among dog owners, and rightfully so. There is nothing more irritating then being in a public place and squishing down on dog poo. It also sends the wrong message to non-dog owners who might not want my dog in their public area. So, if I want my dog allowed in these places, I clean up after them.
Usually my dogs are pretty discriminate about where they'll drop their doo. My black lab won't go in the same place twice, which makes it tough when you only live on a 1/4 acre. It forces you to pick up poo more often than you might like (not such a bad thing). My golden has no problem, in fact, she's a bit of an aficionado for the poo flavor (sorry Roslyn, this might not make a bunch of friends for you) but she actually eats crap. Means less mess for me to clean up, though, and those times when I've forgotten my little plastic bag... (just kidding)... It does mean no kisses from Roslyn, though!
One time while waiting to board a ferry in Long Island, Roslyn decides she has to go. Standing in line with other ferry-goers, she just does it, she spins around a few times (classic indication that she has to go) and craps right there in line. My husband had to leave his place on line for a few moments to get a plastic baggy from one of the ferry crew members. He was pretty embarrassed by the situation, I think mostly because he hadn't been prepared. Who knew the poop eating dog won't eat her own poop- I guess everyone has their limits...

Not a girl, not yet a woman (I'll say)

2005-09-16T12:41:00.000-04:00

Just because you're old enough to procreate doesn't mean you should. I say this in response to the fact that Britney Spears is a mom. Did anyone see her show "Chaotic" on the WB or UPN? Well, if child protective services was watching they should have been in that delivery room ready to take that baby to parents who aren't complete idiots.
The show was "directed" by Britney herself (and when they say directed, they mean she held the video camera and followed her hubby/boyfriend where ever he went). For people tuning in to catch a glimpse of the pop star surely they were disappointed because all you saw was the back of Kevin Federline as he tried to outrun his stalker girlfriend.
Britney also appears to be pretty needy (surprise). Maybe a baby is just what she needs or just what Kevin needs- finally she'll have someone else to obsess over in the relationship!

Got milk?

2005-09-09T10:01:00.000-04:00

For those of you wondering- yes, that is puke on her face... :)

Now I'm it...

2005-09-06T12:49:00.000-04:00

Thanks Raising 2 kids in NH for tagging me... Let's see if I can remember- I spent a good part of my 20's somewhat inebriated...

10 years ago... I was living with my sister and her boyfriend (or rather her boyfriend lived with my sister and I- I don't know how he survived us).. I was working at home, smoking cigarettes like a chimney and trying to break up with my lame ass boyfriend...

5 years ago... My boyfriend (not the lame ass one I mentioned above) and I had just bought a house together... technically he bought it since my credit couldn't buy me a t-shirt, but I figured if we got married, it'd be 1/2 mine and if we didn't, I still needed to pay rent to live somewhere. I became an aunt to my favorite sister and was there to witness it (still one of the best moments ever)

1 year ago... I was pregnant wondering what the hell I was doing and where I was going to put a kid in my renovated nightmare... not much has changed there...

Yesterday I was boarding a ferry on Long Island headed to New London CT at 6:00 in the morning. I slept most of the way home, then when I got home, I slept some more...

Today I'm back at work after 4 days off and I have a lot of work to do but am not doing any of it.

Tomorrow- more of the same, though I suspect I'll have to get that work done- no more flaking off!!!

5 snacks I enjoy (this is easy) m & m's, french fries, salt n vinegar chips, caramel cremes and I guess I like grapes, too...

5 bands I know the lyrics to... Coldplay, Radiohead, REM, Bob Marley and I'm learning Johnny Cash...

5 things I'd do with $100,000,000... quit my job immediately!! buy all my friends and family their own homes, I'd give some to charity to preserve my karma, I'd do lots of traveling and take all my friends and family with me... I'd also pay for Lance Bass to go to space- think he still wants to go?

5 locations I'd like to run away to... I'd love to see Alaska, New Zealand, some tropical island- I don't care where, just some place the ocean's warm in the middle of February, I've never been to Amsterdam- I hear they have some great cafe's, and finally I've never been to NYC...

5 bad habits I have.... see above- the snacks I enjoy aren't doing much for my waistline, I probably drink too much- at least on the weekends, leaving EVERYTHING to the last minute, finishing people's sentences- mostly my husbands- this drives him nuts- but really, if you knew my husband, you'd want to finish his sentences too so the story would come to a friggin end, and I have got to kick that heroine habit- the track lines are getting out of control...

5 things I like doing... I love napping, watching tv, playing with my baby, hanging with my husband on our front porch drinking beer while the baby sleeps, taking my dogs swimming in the back yard...

5 things I would never wear... anything in style because of my lack of style, a bathing suit- ever again- unless I become anorexic/bulemic, but I guess even then I wouldn't be satisfied enough with my body to put on a suit, FMP (fuck me pumps)- my ankles are too big and yuck! I'm tired of these low-rider pants (when did the world become a size 0? I thought we were all getting fat)

5 shows I like.... I like re-runs of Seinfeld and Fraser, Scrubs, Arrested Development, Starved, In a Fix...

5 movies I like ( I never remember movies that I see, so here are some that I have)
Danny Deck Chair, The Station Agent, Big Fish, Dead Poet's Society, Terms of Endearment (cheesy kleenex sob fest)..

5 Famous people I'd like to meet... Ok, I'd like to meet Oprah, but only to kick her off her friggin high horse, Michael Hutchinson and Curt Cobain, but only to ask them why, Jon Benet- so I could ask her who done it, Monica Lewinsky- how'd she like smoking that big cigar? ewwwww!

5 biggest joys at the moment... despite what I post on my blog- my husband! Also, my daughter, my 2 nephews and the fact that Tom Cruise is looking like an enormous jack ass these days- that just tickles me!

5 favorite toys... ok here's 2- the dolphin diver and midnight black...

um, 5 people to tag... who ever happens to read this- you're it! (lame, I know)...

2005-09-06T07:12:00.000-04:00

I'm back from my somewhat relaxing weekend in Long Island. I did end up having to work pretty hard on Sunday (my mother in law had the day off and was free to babysit :( I spent 7 hours painting ceilings and window trim and now I have this terrible crink in my neck that only goes away if I look up.
Thankfully we only worked a short 7 hour day so that we could attend a Labor Day family BBQ. Just try and keep my husband away from free food and beer! The BBQ was at a relative's just two houses down from my in-laws. It's an event they've hosted for years for all of the other ocean front property owners on their road, along with family. My mother in law wanted me to meet one of their neighbors and her baby Parker because she'd had her baby just 2 weeks after I'd had my daughter. Parker's mom AnnaLise (pronounced AHHNA-LISE) is an uptight, nutbag. She seems normal enough at first glance, but after spending a few hours with her, I realized that this woman was not put together properly. She's one of those people that blinks a lot and for a long time- especially if she thinks you've just said something she agrees with. She holds those eye lids down for an eternity while nodding her head in agreement. It's kind of creepy.
She's also one of those mothers who's terrified her baby will do something to embarrass her, like spit up or poop her pants. Parker's diaper was peeking out above her pants and AnnaLise was freaking out- "Parker honey, pull up your pants" she would say to her 6 month old as she reached over to give them a yank. It's not like her thong was showing or something. Then when I commented on how cute Parker was, her response- "oh, they're both cute" as if I was suggesting that Parker was cuter than my daughter.. Wierdo. I'm glad the weekend is over, or at least that part of it is.

I need an extreme makeover!

2005-08-19T11:20:00.000-04:00

My baby is going to be mobile soon. That terrifies me. It would terrify you too, if you could see the shape of my house. It has been in a state of constant renovation since the moment we moved in 5 years ago. Currently we don't have a ceiling- or at least not the standard ceiling that most people see when they look up. The white, smooth sheetrocked ceiling is a memory to me. Instead we have what's left when you rip a ceiling down-the grid-like look of furring strips and wooden beams. I've gotten used to the look and even tried to convince myself that perhaps we could be starting a new trend in architectural design. However, the ceiling is not what concerns me with regards to my daughter's ability to do more than lay on her blanket, but it is an indication as to just how "in a fix" we are when it comes to home repair. We bit off more than we could chew and now we're choking.
My primary concern is actually the opposite of the ceiling- that's right-the floor. It's carpeted (ick) but in addition getting trashed by the renovation, it has also been attacked by my golden retriever. Roslyn is a sweet dog and I love her dearly, but she has destroyed what's left of our carpet. We'd taken down several walls in our home, which left the carpet frayed in some spots. Roslyn has taken to chewing on those frayed spots so that nail strips are visable and quite painful if you forget where they are at 2:00 in the morning. So, now we have a baby who wants to crawl around and explore her environment. How do I break the news to her? Sorry, your house is just far too dangerous for you to actually do more than sit or sleep. Why don't you wait to crawl on Monday when you go to the sitters? I know what you're thinking- pull up the nail strips, problem solved, right? I wish. I haven't even mentioned the hole under the couch- the hole that if you moved the couch would give you a direct view of my basement. Or the staircase with no handrail. Or the back deck with no handrail. Or the exposed electrical.
Maybe my story's not sad enough for extreme makeover, but it sure brings tears to my eyes!

2005-08-16T09:56:00.000-04:00

What's with people backing into parking spaces? I got stuck in a parking lot yesterday waiting for someone to back into their parking space. They had to be perfectly straight, so back and forth, back and forth until it was just right. Is this supposed to be some kind of time saver so when they're ready leave they can just peel out of their parking space? I just don't get it.

Lowly low talkers

2005-08-10T22:29:00.000-04:00

I'm here at work and these two co-workers are trying to have a private conversation 12 inches away from me. They're speaking so quietly, that if I didn't know they were right behind me, I might think I was alone. I don't know why I find this so bothersome- it's like a part of me feels a little insulted or left out. What could be so important that they can't speak in audible tones, or at least wait until they have a moment alone? And why do they feel they need to keep it from me? What are they trying to hide?
They're speaking so damn quiet that I can't even eaves drop!

2005-08-09T08:44:00.000-04:00

I really am sad that Peter Jennings has passed away. News reporters just aren't what they used to be- they don't have the same kind of self respect and pride that they used to have. They'll seemingly do just about anything to give their story an extra edge. I was watching some nascar event on tv this weekend (only to see the race start- my husband thought it'd be some sort of thrill) and the commentator was sitting in the pit, dressed in a racing outfit! Why? Was he going to jump in when the car came to have his tires changed? Or did he just feel cool, like he was one of the guys down there in the pit? I'm all for dressing for the occasion, but come on- you're not making the report seem more authentic- you're making yourself look like an idiot!

Pinching pennies

2005-08-09T08:08:00.000-04:00

We're trying to save some money and stick to a budget. We've never done well at this. The same applies to our health and recent attempts to make it better. We bought a treadmill when I was 8 months pregnant thinking that when I was on my 3 month maternity leave that I would use it to get my body back into the crappy shape it was in before I got pregnant. The only exercise I get on the treadmill now is when I dust it. So, our attempt to pinch pennies is just as insane. My husband will do better at this than he will about getting on the treadmill. He wants a plan to stick to, just not one that says he can't drink a 6 pack or order a cheese pizza. So, the other day after I've been to the grocery store and discovered all sorts of price chopping products, I go to the sink to do a couple of dishes, when I discover a ziploc bag sitting there full of soapy water. I ask my husband what he's doing with this and he tells me he's cleaning it so we can use it again. Uh, when did things get so bad that we can't spring for a 10 cent plastic bag? I don't want to discourage his effort at saving money, so I don't say anymore and I move the plastic bag out of the way so I can wash some dishes. What I should have done was use the soapy water in the recycled ziploc bag to wash my dishes. Correction, that's what he would have done.

2005-08-05T18:19:00.000-04:00

When did I start thinking tattoos looked trashy? It wasn't when I was getting a couple of them, that's for sure! My mother warned me that they made you look easy- that it sent out the wrong message. I don't think mine say anything negative about me, but sometimes I see people and their tattoos and I think they look trashy. There's this girl who works in our building and today she had on a sun dress and the tattoo on her ankle made her look so cheap and kind of slutty. Maybe it's more her that projects that image and I'm incorrectly blaming the tattoos. I think that might be it, because really, I'm all for an appropriate amount of body art and I don't at all regret the ones I have. There's just something about big hair and too much make up combined with a smeared rose tattoo on either your ankle or chest that screams I'm a bit of a whore and desparate for attention! Sorry tattoo- it's not you that makes them trashy- they do it all on their own!

Who hired the mean talker?

2005-08-05T15:37:00.000-04:00

There's a new girl at work and while I really like her, she's kind of rough on the phone. This wouldn't be so bad if 95% of our day wasn't spent on the phone. When I was first training her, I enjoyed talking with her, sharing stories about our kids and pets (and I still do-she's really a sweetheart. She's got a great sense of humor. She's very friendly- always bringing in cookies and other fattening goodies for us to enjoy. So, with that being said, it was time to cut her loose. Time for her to start working on her own- taking her own phone calls. With me sitting by her side, she takes her first call. It all started off nice enough. She answered professionally, introducing herself with"how can I help you?" I sit and wait to see what her first call would produce and while I can't hear the person on the other end of the phone, I can see the look of confusion on the new girl's face. Then it happens, the beast is awakened and in the most sarcastic and perhaps unprofessional voice I've ever heard she says "you want to know what?? I don't know if your insurance is going to cover this (guffaw) you have to find that out for yourself, that's not my job" Ouch! I think Seinfeld would say she's a mean talker. I know I'm not living a sitcom but it's like bizarro world or something....
She had to call someone yesterday and when she started speaking to the person on the phone, I guess she couldn't hear them very well because she asked if they had their tv on and if they did could they please turn it down? Now those are some baseballs! Yikes!

You bet your sweet aspercreme...

2005-07-18T14:15:00.000-04:00

Contagious' recent posting made me think of this.
My husband will tell you how much I hate tv commercials. I just hate them. Whenever the program I'm watching breaks for commercials and I happen to be in possesion of the remote, I go channel surfing. I will end up watching 3 or 4 different shows at the same time to simply avoid commercials. My husband is the exact opposite. To him a tv commercial is a welcome break to sit and relax, contemplate life, get up to pee, whatever. So, when he's in charge of the remote, I have to suffer through the ads and wait for my show to come back on.
However, there has been an ad or two that's made me glad I didn't have the remote and the power to have changed the channel. One recently that I just loved was for a product called Aspercreme. I think it's a pain reliever of some sort. But they have this little jingle that's prefaced with a question like "will this work on your sore back?" And the jingle kicks in, answering the question- "you bet your sweet aspercreme!" l loved it! I don't know if the shades of white trash or the underlying vulgarity, but it's like being in the 5th grade knowing that you're getting away with something. Brilliant ad campaign, I thought, until the other day when I saw it again. They've taken out the catchy jingle and replaced it with something totally lame- "will this work on your sore back?" "it will if it's aspercreme." Whatever, someone obviously complained and they cleaned up their act, but I was very disappointed. I guess I'll have to wait to see it on Fox's funniest commercials or something....

You know what's funny?

2005-05-26T11:47:00.000-04:00

Stupid people. Stupid people are funny. I've come to that conclusion recently in an attempt to stop being so bothered by them. If not for their stupid antics, I'd have so much less to laugh at.
This morning I was in the cafeteria at work trying to buy some skim milk out of one of those rotating vending machines to go along with my cheese danish. As the display spins around and I search for my container of skim milk, a voice behind me pipes up, "Are you looking for skim milk?" I turn to see the gray haired kitchen helper who stocks the vending machines sitting at a table eating corn flakes. She tells me the skim milk is right there, right in front of me- see the 1% carton? And she says it with such confidence that suddenly, I'm the one who feels stupid- it's practically skim, I guess, though I don't know if that was her point or that she truly doesn't get it. Maybe that's not necessarily a stupid thing as it is an age thing. My grandmothers idea of skim milk was mixing whole milk with powdered milk. Maybe it's skim if you have to "skim" powder residue off the side of your glass, I don't know, but I guess I shouldn't care too much if the person stocking the vending machine doesn't really understand the products she's stocking. I can laugh at her ignorance rather than be annoyed by it and perhaps find some comfort in the fact that my arteries are pumping skim milk instead of whole!